Tuesday, October 20, 2009

sadness

So this is another rather bleak blog. The rain outside goes away and somehow my house has become dreary. Go figure.

Tonight was a big night for Autumn. But not in a good way. Her class has been preparing for the elementary schools' fall festival that is going to take place this Saturday. It is an all-day event. Autumn, being the second child, really doesn't act very independently in her interests. Usually, she goes with whatever her big sister wants to do and is content to tag along and let Bailee run the show. Except for when it concerns fall festivals, apparently. She was soooooo excited about this one. And she was really bummed when she realized it coincided with her weekend to go to her dad's for his visitation. So she asked him weeks ago if he would come up here and take her and he never gave her a straight answer. I know that he at least considered taking her because he asked me what he should do. I, of course, told him it was his decision but that she doesn't ask for much and she is pretty gung-ho about this one. Making a long story short, he emphatically decided this week that he was not coming all the way up here for a fall festival. This news was broken to Autumn last night. And while she acted ok to him on the phone, as soon as she was off she asked me to call him back and ask to keep her here so she could go. Which I did. To no avail. And tonight when he called she asked him again to go. And she got in trouble. And she asked me to plead her case again, which I did, and again he said no. So after she got off the phone with him for the final time tonight I asked what he said. We were standing in the kitchen. She said quietly without making eye contact, "he said no" and shrugged her shoulders like no big deal and said "so I guess that means I'm not going". Then she looked at me and her chin bunched up and her eyes filled with quiet, sad tears. And I dropped to my knees and held her and couldn't help it, but I started to cry too. Life is so unfair. I will never forget her sweet face as she tried to be brave even though her little second grade heart was broken with disappointment.

So what's a mom to do? What will cause her the least pain in the long run? I wish I knew....

1 comment:

  1. Luvy, I truly don't know on this one. Whatever you decide, just be sure to give her an extra hug so that she feels your understanding or one for her dad so that she knows he loves her and he will understand. Good luck.

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