Wednesday, January 6, 2010

becoming a man

I am just wondering how I am supposed to feel all beautiful and blossoming and radiant when how I am really starting to feel is like I am becoming a man. Here are my symptoms:

1. I have a beer belly. Not a hard little uterine "bump" but a full-fledged, keg-tapping gut.

2. I have hair growing at lightening-fast speeds all over my body.

3. I can belch big enough to make even the biggest trucker in the room tuck tail and run.

4. I have gas. Alot.

5. I actually woke myself up snoring. Like a huge SNORT-like snoring. Like an ogre.

6. Number six is too embarrasing. But it is very man-like. It involves testosterone. Figure it out.

7. See previous post regarding my red meat intake.

8. I am ambivilant to almost anything anyone tells me right now. About anything. Except maybe what my next meal will be.

9. My whole body itches. And I don't mind scratching it. Especially in the morning when I wake up and at night before I go to sleep.

10. This blog is about the only girl past-time I am enjoying. I don't even feel like shopping. See symptom #1. That's why.

xoxo,
Luvy

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