Thursday, October 7, 2010

Post partum depression

I think I have post-partum depression. I hate to even say that, I'll be honest. Maybe that's sending the wrong message to other mommies but I feel weak just putting that out there. I thought that after high school, my early 20's, and getting rid of an abusive ex-husband, my self-esteem had recovered. Apparently not the case. I should be happy. My baby is a healthy chunk of lovin'. My husband is amazingly supportive. My girls are doing great in school and in spite of their pre-teen hormone surges, are usually pretty entertaining to be around. I am about to start a promising new job that will allow me to be home more without putting a financial strain on my husband. And I have lost all but 5 pounds of the weight I gained in pregnancy and my son is 11 weeks old (which after all the sausage I ate during my pregnancy, that is quite an accomplishment!!). But doubt creeps in. I don't feel skinny enough, pretty enough, young enough, energetic enough, fun enough, happy enough, ENOUGH, ENOUGH, ENOUGH!!! And what do I do when I feel insecure? Oh I usually do something really flattering and try to attack someone else! (I'm being "startastic" as Autumn would say). Which makes me feel even worse! I'm not a big supporter of medication so this is my plan:

1. Get outside more
2. Go for a walk at least 3 times/week
3. Think of something nice about my next target when I want to lash out
4. Pray more
5. Surround myself with goodness
6. Breath in and out slowly
7. Drink more water
8. Eat more fruit (cause it makes me feel good and happy)
9. Hug my children more
10. Thank God for the many blessings I have

And enjoy a glass of wine on the patio with my husband

xoxo,
luvy