Today marks one month until I turn 35. I have been dreading this all year. I used to think that I would be totally cool about growing older. That I would welcome the wisdom that comes with experience and that I would embrace my wrinkles and "seasoning". I very much appreciate the beauty that I see in middle-aged and older women. But I went off and married a younger man and started living for the first time in my life and I want to hold on to every second!!
And then something really bad happened. Within a week of weaning my sweet baby off the breast, I found a lump. Actually I didn't find it. My husband did. Since I had just stopped breastfeeding I thought it was probably just a duct that had hardened or clogged. But it was painless and larger than I was comfortable with. I decided to wait it out and see if it reduced or disappeared altogether. It hasn't. So the day my son turned 6 months old, I went to see my doctor. And now I wait 3 more days and I will have my first mammogram and breast ultrasound. And possibly a needle biopsy. And I am not looking forward to it. I am scared and strangely calm at the same time. I could go on and on about all of the emotions I am experiencing. But I will save it for my Wednesday blog after I have had all of the testing done.
Just a fact I discovered for those of you that don't know, 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. One thing I have going for me...my age. In the world of breast cancer, 34 going on 35 is still considered very young! I'll hold onto that.